Get Grounded - How Holding a Stone Connects us to Momma Earth

In an age of total connectivity, we’re terribly disconnected.

How often do you actually pick up the phone and call your family and "friends"? Oh, you get most of your news scrolling through social media? Your bestie just had a baby? That friend of a friend of a friend is having a meal at Denny's? Do you even know that other guy that just posted the kitten video? Is it even his kitten?

I've taken a bit of a break from social media. Yeah, I use it to post my blogs and my biz news, but when it comes right down to it, I do a quick scan through the pages I most want to keep up on, post what I came to post, and shut it down. Why? It's information overload. A 5 minute visit to Facebook quickly turns into 4 hours of scanning and scrolling, go see the new posts and start all over... Lather, Rinse, Repeat ad nauseum. By the time I realize I've been lost in social media for half my day, I feel overwhelmed, empty, disheartened and more than a little nauseated.

One day, I reflected on just why I felt so crappy after an hour long social media binge. The outcome? I was totally disconnected, though I'd just "connected" to 20 different people on Facebook through short comments, likes and posts. I was so out of my body, out of my mental space, disconnected from my spirit and the spirits of those friends I'd "connected" with that I felt like I was suffocating (and yes, your experience might be entirely different. Mine seems to come from the fact that I've been consciously trying to re-connect my body-mind-spirit pathways and this is out of alignment with that).

We no longer have meaningful conversations. We've kind of stopped seeing each other as humans and fellow journeyers in this life. It's all pixels, Gigs, Kbs and empty chatter.

We’re increasingly sick and tired.

More and more often, you hear about disturbing trends of obesity and chronic illness. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer.. they're running rampant on younger and younger members of our society. Chronic fatigue and adrenal fatigue are on the rise. Auto-immune diseases such as Lupus, RA and MS continue to be diagnosed with alarming frequency.

We move through our day so fast. Schedules are booked tightly from very early rising to very, very late (or early, wee-small hours of the morning depending on how you look at it). We're rushing from one task and activity to the next, literally killing ourselves to get to the next thing. We don't have time to exercise, or we make time to run on a rubber belt in an air-conditioned, loud gym that we pay hundreds of our hard-earned dollars for. We don't have time to cook, so we snag greasy, processed crap from the nearest drive-through on the way to our next activity.

We’re increasingly sedentary.

Sit at the computer. Sit back and half-assed pedal that recumbent bike at the gym. Sit and watch TV. Sit in the car or bus during your commute. Sit and do nothing. Sit and stare. More done with less effort...

We’re decreasingly in touch with nature.

So.. this all paints a pretty grim picture. And really, it was my life until 6 years ago when everything came to a grinding halt because I was so sick I could barely move. I was so tired, I couldn't function. I considered it a good day if I made it out of bed and could remember my name. Remember my address or phone number? Fuggetaboutit. Wasn't happening.

When was the last time you just sat in the grass? Or on the beach? Or just on your porch and enjoyed the rain, the sun, or the breeze? When did you last walk through your neighborhood and notice what was blooming or dying because of the rhythms of nature? Don't have time for it? Hmm...

Like petting your cat, holding a stone can help you connect.

You don't have to take a ton of time to get connected. That's the good news. You don't need to run away to an ashram in rural India to experience a quiet moment that allows you to connect deeply.

Scientists tell us that the simple acts of walking barefoot on the lawn, or petting our animal companions help lower our blood pressure, release valuable hormones that balance our moods and help us feel better in general. So, let me ask you: Can you find 10 minutes to connect?

Are stones alive?

There's this new debate going on in the scientific community about what defines "life." New research suggests that what we previously considered "not alive" or "not sentient" is more alive and sentient than we've always believed. Crystals grow, albeit slowly, and respond to their environment, though changes are extremely subtle and slow to take place. It raises the question, "If something changes due to its environment slower than I can personally observe, is it still responding?" Not being an eminent scientist, I can only sit and ponder this question and come up with my own uneducated conclusions, based on my own observations.

For example: I have a hand-sized amethyst point that loves to work with me during intuition meditations and during third-eye chakra work. It's decidedly feminine in energy, and loves to play. She's out of touch if I start working with heavy stuff... I often think that she likes me to work with one of my other stones for that. I have a white quartz and black agate that like working together when I'm balancing my energies (think Yin and Yang), but trying to use them for anything else is like trying to use mud to make an apple pie - doesn't work. But those are just MY observations with MY stones.

Does it matter?

While scientific proof and empirical evidence are great, to me they only account for so much proof. To me, I think there is far more evidence in the small stories and experiences of the non-scientific. The open mind that can sit back and observe an interaction, response, outcome can tell us far more than the critical scientist that must stick to established protocol and standards of the scientific community. Working with crystal energies has helped me, and thousands of others with a broad spectrum of issues. Some stones work better than others. Some don't work at all. Some work a little too well, and can leave an individual overwhelmed and out of balance for other reasons.

Your pet cat is undoubtedly alive, yes? At least... well, let's just say I'm assuming that the pet you're choosing to connect with through touch is in fact still breathing and you're not working with a taxidermied version of a past beloved pet. Just because it doesn't speak your language, doesn't mean it doesn't communicate. Anyone who's ever awakened in the middle of the night to the sound of two cats hissing and yeowling at each other at 1 a.m. knows that those critters are having quite a conversation:

"This is my turf."
"I was here first."
"Get lost, loser!"
"I'm telling Fluffy that you were with Kiki last night!"

You communicate a good deal through your touch on your pet's fur or skin. Regardless of species, it reads your emotions, your health, your frame of mind and your energy level through your presence and touch.

I'll go out on a ledge here, and say that stones do the same thing. I have a few that call me, or simply beg to be touched when I'm in different states of mind.

The bottom line is, any rock is still part of the larger macro-organism we're a part of, that we've chosen to call "Earth."

How to “plug back into” the Earth.

In all my reading and research, I've come to the conclusion that the Earth, and all it's inhabitants, plant, animal, mineral and human, are one huge organism. We play off each other, and we need each other to survive and thrive. Being such a part of each other's environment makes it rather simple to plug back in when the disconnect gets started.

I'll give you two methods, neither of which will take you more than 5 minutes if you simply can't make more time.

1. Hold a stone in your hand, and sit quietly for 5 minutes. Take 5 minutes to just observe the stone. What color is it? Is it rough or smooth? Does it have stripes or bands or splotches of other color? Is it warm or cool (we always assume a stone is cold, though in my experience, some of my stones are normally warm, or stay cool no matter how warm I am and how warm the day is). Does it feel good to hold it? Is it pleasing to your eyes? When you're done, thank the stone for allowing you to observe it (gratitude is a huge health booster, and why not humor the outlandish idea that stones do in fact feel and think?).
2. Sit quietly with your pet. Just stroke its skin or fur (won't assume that your beloved pet MUST have fur and can't possibly be feathered or cold-blooded. I've met some very perceptive and personable iguanas, after all). Observe its response to you. Does it seem to relish your touch? Find the spots it most likes to have stroked, massaged or tickled. How do you feel petting your companion animal? Do you feel more calm, more relaxed or simply loved for who you are, no matter what your mood is? When you're ready, mentally send gratitude to your pet for allowing you to connect with them, and return to your day.

Any stone will do, but not all stones are created equally.

If you're looking to connect to a particular stone to match a mood or a feeling, I'd suggest any of the great resources on the internet. Hibiscus Moon is one of my absolute favorites, as she takes a scientific approach to crystal energy work and has tons of sparkly personality. She's just fun to listen to! I've listed some other resources below, but really, if you're looking to ground or connect to the Earth, any stone will do. I like to do grounding meditations with a gray agate in my collection that likes to join me on these sessions. I've charged a plain old gray rock for my husband's grounding practice, and it seems to help him focus a bit more, but you don't need to do anything special with yours, other than sit quietly with an open mind and focus on your stone.

Give it a try.

If you've made it this far, I truly appreciate you sticking with me for this wild and probably odd-sounding ride. And reading is great! But you know what's even better? Trying it for yourself. Not every method works for every person, but you won't know if you don't try, right?

Further Reading:

http://www.chopra.com/ccl/the-art-of-grounding

http://www.chopra.com/ccl/what-is-oneness

http://www.wikihow.com/Ground-and-Center

https://www.earthing.com/what-is-earthing/

Why is Being Compassionate to Yourself the Best Place to Start

It’s the new thing in science: Being compassionate is good for your health.

Doctors are all over this compassion thing. They're finding correlations between heart disease, mental health issues, emotional issues and more linked to compassion. Think about those articles that talk about how petting your cat, or hugging your spouse drops your blood pressure...

But what is compassion?

In any context, compassion is more than empathy (being able to place yourself in the experience of another), sympathy (feeling bad or feeling pity because of someone's circumstances). It's not trying to "fix" everything, and it's not sitting back and judging circumstances for yourself or anyone else.. And it's not blame! Blame, by the way, is an absolutely useless mechanism, in my opinion, as it only serves to create guilt, another unproductive mechanism.

Compassion is about placing yourself outside of the situation and looking at it objectively, then filling the gap between yourself and the situation (or person or thing) with love and acceptance.

Simply put, compassion is the art of applying non-judgment and grace to your life and to others.

When you recognize blame, sympathy, pity, guilt or judgment, and remove those things from your frame of reference, and then re-frame the person, thing or situation in a context of love and grace, you're practicing compassion.

So why be compassionate towards yourself?

"Okay," you say, "I get why being compassionate toward others is a good thing, but what purpose does it serve to be compassionate toward myself?"

It appears in most major religions, in some form of the following: "Treat others as you yourself wish to be treated," and "Love your neighbor as yourself." Philosophers and the Divine alike, recognize that if you can't generate compassion toward yourself, it is next to impossible to generate genuine compassion toward others. We can go through the motions of love and compassion, and never actually experience it it whole. 

Self-compassion and self-love in this context, are not the same as being self-absorbed and selfish. Being self-aborbed and selfish put your needs ahead of the needs of anyone else all the time. Self-love means making sure your needs are met (and there is a big difference between need and want), so that you can move on to taking care of the needs of others. Self-compassion means accepting responsibility for mistakes and being able to dig in, find the lesson and then forgive yourself and move on. It means you don't let Blame, Shame and Guilt move in, or even come in and have dinner with you. Those things stay outside the fence, while you invite Learning and Growth in to find your mistake and move on. In self compassion, you recognize and acknowledge that what you didn't know, isn't your fault. But you've made that mistake, you learn from it, and you set an intention and a practice in place to not do that thing again.

You make better choices for yourself and others when you’re compassionate.

Removing Guilt, Blame and Shame from the equation gives you room to blossom and grow when you're compassionate for yourself. Removing them from your relationships allows the bonds between you and others to grow, and gives the other person room to blossom as well. You make choices based not only on your needs, but in consideration of how your choices affect others.

When you're compassionate toward yourself, you make healthier choices about your food, your activities, and your time. You recognize what doesn't feel good, and you tweak your practices accordingly. 

For example, when my doctor told me that I was a walking, talking stroke-in-waiting, that I needed to clean up my nutritional life, I went through a period of self-blame (my food choices led me here), guilt (I know better than to eat a lot of crap food), shame (I weighed almost 270 pounds at the time-I don't need to point out the societal influence here, right?), and panic, fear and loathing for the changes I needed to make to get healthier.

I walked home from the doctor's office in tears, unable to see how I could possibly make the changes she wanted me to make right this second. Ninety percent of the food in our pantry was now off my menu, and we had only $50 in the bank to get us through the month (and it was only the 10th!), so I knew I wasn't replacing all that food right now.

It has taken me several months to get where I'm at now. Yeah, I still eat stuff I shouldn't, but it's less and less frequently. And when I do, I do so consciously, and make note of the changes I notice the next day (more moody, more soreness, more stiffness, more tummy discomfort). But each choice leads to a strengthened resolve to reduce further, and better choices in the future.

Oh, and I've lost 8 pants sizes and well over 30 pounds. [Note: I don't use a scale at home, just follow along at the doctor's office, as I have issues with eating and obsessing about my weight - but that's one of those self-compassion things. I know that it's not healthy for me, mentally, to try to weigh myself all the time at home, and this works for me. Your experience is most likely different.]

You feel better.

Because you're not used to recognizing Guilt, Shame and Blame in your own life, you probably don't realize just how crappy they make you feel. This subtle programming has been in your life since you were very, very young in most cases, and you don't even know you're doing it.

That's where meditation practice comes in handy-that process of sitting back and being the observer of your thoughts, so that you can move to being the thinker of your thoughts instead of being driven around by the chaos in your head all the time.

And as you start removing these weeds? You start to feel more free, more in control, more powerful. You free yourself and those you interact with from the lead weights that have been holding you under for years, and you start to blossom and grow.

Your outlook improves.

Free of Blame, Guilt and Shame, the future looks brighter. You're honest with yourself that you might fall down, this new thing you're trying might fail, but, and here's the change, you don't get caught in the downward spiral, you grow from your failure, and keep moving forward.

Suddenly, the future looks a hell of a lot more friendly!

The Universe smiles on you more.

People that practice self-compassion are more open to the future. They aren't closed off to possibilities, because they no longer fear the Guilt, Shame and Blame cycle of failure. In fact, they're more likely to try something daring and outrageous, because they know that failure is just a sign that something needs to change.

And when you dare to do big things, the Universe smiles on you, and rewards you in big ways.

It’s ongoing.

Self-compassion isn't a one-time thing. It's an ongoing, day-to-day practice of being mindful of your thoughts and emotions. Guilt, Blame and Shame are sneaky little critters, and will worm their way back into your life if you're not careful.

You have to stay mindful of your choices and the voices you allow to play in your head.

Try it Yourself, Further Reading:
Compassion Meditation through Greater Good
The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Bringing Mindfulness to Exercise-Body Checking to Focus

We all know exercise is good for us.

Whether you acknowledge it or not, your body is made for motion. From the way cells use fuel (calories), to how our muscles move, to our joints, to how moving activates our brains, the truth is in front of us: We were made to move. If we weren't we'd look more like a rock-no joints, no muscles, no metabolism going on.

Research shows us that exercise helps activate the brain, it strengthens bone and muscle, it burns calories so that what we eat doesn't go straight to our hips, thighs, butts and other unsightly bulges. It helps balance our emotions, helps our bodies balance hormones, prevents depression...

I'll get off that soapbox now; you already know that exercising is good for you.

Some kinds of exercise work only our body.

It's true. Some kinds of exercise simply allow us to fall into a kind of trance, lost in the rhythm of the motion, like running, power walking or swimming. I remember being in swim class in high school PE, and letting my mind wander to go over my upcoming speech for the tournament, or simply reviewing my math homework in my head. I would let my body drop into its rhythm of stroke-stroke-stroke-breathe-stroke, and let my head be somewhere else as I went back and forth in the pool.

Other kinds work both body and mind, others go deep into body, mind and spirit.

While some exercise allows your mind to wander and your body to go on autopilot, other kinds of exercise require a little more presence. Focus on balance and posture are essential for weight lifting and yoga. Coordination and attention to the beat are key when you're doing aerobics, Zumba or belly dancing.

And again, some exercises go yet deeper, tying your body, mind and spirit into the moment and working in pure harmony to lift you from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Think Qi Gong, Tai Chi, and some more advanced forms of yoga. You simply can't work with your own energetic body when the whole point of what you're doing turns on your mind, body and energy working with each other.

How do you get the most from your exercise?

You don't need to be a yoga guru or a Tai Chi master to get more out of your favorite exercise. I'm a strong believer in trying new types of exercise, but only keeping those that you truly enjoy in your routine. Let's face it: If you don't like it, you're not going to be motivated to do it.

Even the most trance-inducing exercise can be taken up a notch so you get more out of it. And it's super easy to do!

Being mindful of your body strengthens the body-mind connection.

When you direct your mind to check in with your body, it activates different areas of the brain then what you use when you're moving and thinking about something else. It shifts your focus, consciously, allows you to be in control of your thoughts, and starts a dialog between mind and body.

It helps prevent injury.

This can be applied to any workout, but we'll use running for the moment; let's assume that you're running along, in the zone, and thinking about your to-do list for several blocks. This is your habit, and where you're starting from in implementing this practice.

When you cross the next street (or pass the next lamp post, telephone pole or house-pick a marker that's recurring on your route), ask yourself, "Do I feel pain anywhere in my body?" Then scan your body, all parts of you, and make sure that nothing is unduly painful. Now, here is where I will differentiate between pain and soreness. Soreness is a good sign, when it's simply soreness. It means you're working and fatiguing your muscles to strengthen them. When soreness becomes pain, however, it's a sign that you need to back off, or stop immediately. You'll have to be the judge of it, but generally, sore is in the working muscles, pain is in joints or muscles that are injured, and not just fatigued. If you find pain anywhere, listen to your body. Pushing past pain is destructive and counter productive to what we're trying to accomplish.

At the next marker, ask yourself, "Do I feel particularly good anywhere?" Make note of these spots. Sometimes, during a particularly challenging walk, I find that soreness disappears and I feel like I could walk forever. But it's incentive to keep moving when I note a lift in my mood, or a feeling of being lighter than before because of my workout.

At the next marker, check in one more time, "Is there anything else I need to know about my body right now?" Then let your body communicate with you. There might be a late answer to the pain question. Or you might simply notice that you're tired and it's time to turn around. Whatever it is, honor that, and follow through. Then you can return to your blissed, zoned out state and keep going for a while.

With some experimentation, you'll find the length of time that's best for you between check ins. You'll likely find that your workouts are far more productive, and your performance will improve because you're more aware of your body's limits.

Try it during your next workout.

Go on, I dare you. I triple-dog-dare you! That's right, I just gave you a challenge. Get out there, on the road, on your mat, in your pool, and give this a try. I'd love to hear your experiences!

Further Reading:

Another moving mindfulness exercise to try, from the folks at Greater Good Science Center.

More Love, Not More Laws

We have a little family soapbox that we share in our home. Even our 5th grader gets in on it with her won view. In fact, it was her opinion on the matter that gave me my big "A-Ha" moment.

Now, let me be crystal clear. What I have to say, is my opinion. It is based on my gut instincts and my intuition. I am exercising my right to free thought and free speech here. If your opinion is the only one that counts in your little world, hey, fine! Fee free to move on the the next anti-whatever blog in the webiverse. I won't fault you for it. But this is really big stuff for me. And it's an emotionally charged topic for absolutely everyone I've ever heard talk about it: Gun control and gun violence.

So, to put this in perspective, I'm married to a disabled US Army veteran. We're both pretty moderate politically, though he is very much a Republican supporter, I'm kind of a late-to the party hippy, free-spirit type, and our daughter... well she's still forming opinions (and she feels very free to differ and debate with us and often learns the valuable lesson to do some thinking and digging before you just speak). Hubby is all about "facts" and I am very much about what my gut tells me. Laugh if you must-I'm an empath, "facts" are, well, manipulable and often twisted.

At any rate, I am mostly ambivalent about guns. I really don't feel a driving, burning desire to own one right now, but I do want to learn to shoot and hunt for self-sufficiency should the need ever arise. I do believe in the citizens' Constitutional right to bear arms here in the US, while recognizing a rising trend of gun violence in this country. But I don't believe that more laws, or taking guns away from law-abiding citizens are the answers to the problem. Because the problem isn't the guns. I believe this trend of violence is only a symptom of a much larger, much deeper problem. Take away the guns and the violence will only show up in other ways, because the problem hasn't been dealt with.

Several years ago, in the wake of theSandy Hook School shootings, my husband and I were having a rather passionate discussion about gun control when our daughter walked in and wanted to know what was going on. We explained it as best we could to our (then) first grader, and her response hit me in the gut: "But didn't the shooter realize that he was hurting actual people?"

In that moment I realized something: We forget, in our tech-saturated culture, that we're dealing with other actual people. Yeah, it sounds weird, until you start poking at it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do believe that there is a line between righteous indignation and overly-sensitive. But wath a prime-time show from the 80's after watching a prime-time show that's on now. It's a culture shock, but it happened so subtly and so gradually that you probably didn't notice. Even our news has changed. Bad news sells, and it's never sold better than it does now. And... I've digressed into bad-sounding cliches, so I'll move back to my point.

My point is this: We're so saturated with information, so accustomed to instant messaging, email and phone conversations at hyper-speed, that we neglect to stop and remember thta it's a real person with real feelings, hopes, dreams and fears we're dealing with. We're so busy getting to the next whatever that we miss the subtle cues from the other end. Maybe your daughter had a crummy day at school, but you're so occupied with checking your email at dinner you don't notice how beat she looks. Perhaps, in your haste to get through the traffic jam, you didn't hear your husband's despair as he asked you to pick up milk on your way home, and you said some pretty callous things. Instead of apologizing, your guilt gets a free ride and you get cranky with your son, who's getting bullied (but your so busy being mad about feeling guilty and put upon that you haven't noticed how he's been retreating more and more).

The answer isn't fewer guns. And it isn't in becoming a martyr or a doormat. Love yourself enough to own your shit and recognize that we're all on this big flying ball, just trying to survive. Smile at someone. Anyone. Even if you aren't feeling it. You just lit up two lives in that one, simple act: Yours and another actual human being's. It didn't start a riot. No one died. No one even broke a sweat.

But you may have been the only good moment in someone's day. You just sent a little more love and compassion into the world. You did your own health a huge favor. You might even have saved someone's life in that one little act.

I know this sounds very pie-in-the-sky, out-of-touch-with-reality, but what would happen if 7 billion humans resolved to just smile at another human once a day? What would your world look like if you started a chain of smiles?

The Music of my Life

Do you have a soundtrack for your life?

I do. It changes, of course, from year to year, sometimes from day to day. I have playlists in my music program that serve as soundtracks for certain kinds of days. Some days, it's dance music, the stuff that I just can't sit still for... I have to get up and dance for those soundtracks. Other days, it's more aggressive; that's my "Warrior" playlist. Don't mess with me those days, I'm likely swinging a metaphorical sword at the demons in my life and fighting big fights.

This past week, I've been taking big steps, and I had to create a new soundtrack for this phase in my life. I've been facing up to some nasty stuff, and owning my shit; tackling the big financial scary stuff, facing the emotions I try so hard not to deal with, taking responsibility for the energy and projects I take on, and learning to say "No" more often to the things that aren't in line with my values.

So "This is my Fight Song", "Let it Go", "Stronger"... these are the songs that surround the track that is my own reading of the essay I wrote about my perfect life.

Because listening to my own voice...

...defining my dreams inevitably (at this stage, anyway) prompts those old programs in my brain telling me that I don't deserve it, that I'm unworthy, reminding me of all those failures in my life, reminds me of all the debt that remains from earlier times when I was irresponsible with my finances. For that, I have to be in my boldest, most daring person, and for that, I need to be a fighter, have my fight songs and remind myself to let it go. I'm not that woman anymore. I'm bolder, stronger, more responsible, more authentic, I am my own definition of me and you can't have or change that. I won't be less than I am meant to be for anyone or anything, so don't even try to go there! Love me as I am, or find your way out the door.

It's true: What doesn't kill you does make you stronger, if you learn from it.

It makes you faster, bolder, braver, prouder. Your tears don't make you weak, if you choose not to fall into the trap of victim-hood. Your mistakes aren't the end of the world, and you don't have to be perfect! They're just a practice run for the perfect version that you're creating, whether that's a business model, your own body, or your dreams.

So, how do you create your own soundtrack?

For me, it's pretty simple. I'm an amateur musicologist (okay, maybe not the best word for me, but the word I want is escaping me this morning), so I tend to group my music by how it makes me feel. It's a daunting task when I look at the thousands of songs I have in my library, with options ranging from classical to R&B. I literally have a little of something from every genre (I think... though usually when I say that, someone asks me about a new genre that I haven't listened to, and I have to go listen and decide if I want to add that!). So.. Here's my process in a nutshell:

Step 1: Figure out my goal.

Well, duh. I have to know what I'm creating this music list for, yes? Am I creating a short 20 minute meditation playlist? An hour's worth of upbeat tracks to keep my feet moving during an hour long walk? Just creating something that I can type like a maniac to? Am I looking for a day of music that will pull me out of a mid-winter slump and make me feel good again?

Define what your purpose is, and figure out what feeling you want to convey to yourself. I really don't give a rat's backside if no one else thinks that Adelle, Celtic music and the theme to Star Wars don't belong in the same list. If it makes you feel good, and meets your goal, Go for it, dammit!

Step 2: Throw it all at the wall, and see what sticks.

Okay, not really. That might work with pasta, I've never tried it. However, when it comes to music, and trying to define a playlist that evokes a particular mood, I do tend to throw most of my music into a big pile, randomize it, then hit "play." When a song comes up that really doesn't hit the target, I hit "skip". If the song just sounds good, I let it play (which avoids my head getting all jangled from partial songs and ear-bugs). However, when something comes on that hits the mark - BINGO! Add it to the playlist.

Step 3: Organization is everything.

So, you've got this mess of songs in a playlist now. What started as a list of 300 songs is now a mere 10-15 songs (more or less depending on what you're trying to accomplish). So, now you can rearrange that new list into an order that makes you happy. Yes indeed. I have done playlists that had the Dixie Chicks alongside Cher alongside John Williams. Who cares if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. This is your playlist, yeah?

Step 4: Enjoy It!

What kind of instructions don't tell you how to make something meant to enjoy without actually letting you know that it's time to enjoy it?

So go plug in your ear buds, or put it on the surround sound and crank that baby up! You might find that you need to rearrange things once in a while, add, delete, whatever. It's yours, so do what you need to do to preserve your sanity. When the list no longer sets you where you want to be, or it's just sitting there collecting whatever unused data collects (the electronic equivalent of dust collecting on knicknacks), then delete the darn thing! Don't feel guilty. It's just time to make a new list, and that is totally okay! Enjoy!

So, now it's your turn.

What songs are in your life sound track?

Is it John Williams or Elton John? Adelle or J. Lo.?

Paying it Forward

Things for my family the last few years haven't been great. In fact, there have been some pretty dark times for us as we went through injuries, job loss, major illnesses and other stressful transitions. We're turning it around now, but we've never forgotten those moments when someone did something spectacularly nice for a perfect stranger.

One of those early moments came a few years ago. We were desperately struggling financially, had little food and I was so sick I could barely function. But every week, the three of us would go to the local food bank and standing in line in the cold, early morning light and wait to get what we could. This particular morning, on our way to the line, I spotted and envelope, taped to a park bench. It had bright stickers plastered all over it with the words, "Just to make you Smile - Please claim me," inked on the front.

This was the second or third envelope I'd seen since we parked the car, so I stopped... And claimed it. On the back was a Facebook page address and a little note of "If this makes you smile, pay it forward." Inside was a $5 bill.

Yup. Someone stuffed $5 bills into envelops and placed them in random spots for no other reason than to pay it forward. This person scattered several around the food bank - a place where folks really could use the money, the kindness and the smile.

That $5 bought us a couple extra groceries to get us by until payday, but I've never forgotten it. And while I don't do fancy envelopes, I might tuck a buck in a library book before returning it. The point isn't about the money. How much do you smile when a crisp $1 bill falls out of your library book? A little? A lot? That, my friend, is the whole point. Spend the dollar. Then, take a couple dollars next week and tuck them in random places. Let them go with love, knowing you've not only paid it forward, you've multiplied the positive energy in the world.

Hop in the comments below, and share how you're paying it forward today. I can't wait to hear from you!

Rainy Days Suck, So Why do I Live in the Great North Wet?

It's raining. Again. It was sunny for 10 minutes yesterday, I swear it really was! But that's just winter time here in Western Washington. Of course, it's also fall and spring and a good part of the summer, too. So why would anyone consciously choose to live somewhere that is so...dreary?

If you ask 10 people that live here why they live here, you'll likely get 10 very different reasons. Myself, I lived here for a few years after a childhood surrounded by California drought and agriculture. Then I moved to Arizona for a very long 7 years in the desert (no offense to those who love the "dry heat," it just wasn't for me). When the opportunity presented itself to return to greener trees and cooler temperatures (and occasional snow without a four hour drive), I was all in. I've lived near Seattle, drank more than my fair share of coffee and "Did the Puyallup" (it's a local thing-aka going to the state fair). But I've come to realize that wet, green hills are home to me. I'm now lucky enough to live only a half hour casual walk from the ocean, very near North America's only temperate rain forest and have learned that I neither shrink nor melt if I go walking in the rain. And if I am lucky enough that we have one of our violent ocean storms on a night when I'm home alone with the dogs, we listen to the wind and rain beat at the house. We three get very still and very quiet, and we can feel the waves pound the beach a mile away.

And when the sun breaks through the next morning, it's like looking at the world through a prism. The air is so clean and fresh that the whole world seems to sparkle and come alive. The black-tail deer come out of hiding to graze on our lawn and our bald eagle wheels above the house. After the horrible storm, the world is simply beautiful.

I can deal with the wet and windy. The sparkling clarity of the morning after makes it all worthwhile.