We have a little family soapbox that we share in our home. Even our 5th grader gets in on it with her won view. In fact, it was her opinion on the matter that gave me my big "A-Ha" moment.
Now, let me be crystal clear. What I have to say, is my opinion. It is based on my gut instincts and my intuition. I am exercising my right to free thought and free speech here. If your opinion is the only one that counts in your little world, hey, fine! Fee free to move on the the next anti-whatever blog in the webiverse. I won't fault you for it. But this is really big stuff for me. And it's an emotionally charged topic for absolutely everyone I've ever heard talk about it: Gun control and gun violence.
So, to put this in perspective, I'm married to a disabled US Army veteran. We're both pretty moderate politically, though he is very much a Republican supporter, I'm kind of a late-to the party hippy, free-spirit type, and our daughter... well she's still forming opinions (and she feels very free to differ and debate with us and often learns the valuable lesson to do some thinking and digging before you just speak). Hubby is all about "facts" and I am very much about what my gut tells me. Laugh if you must-I'm an empath, "facts" are, well, manipulable and often twisted.
At any rate, I am mostly ambivalent about guns. I really don't feel a driving, burning desire to own one right now, but I do want to learn to shoot and hunt for self-sufficiency should the need ever arise. I do believe in the citizens' Constitutional right to bear arms here in the US, while recognizing a rising trend of gun violence in this country. But I don't believe that more laws, or taking guns away from law-abiding citizens are the answers to the problem. Because the problem isn't the guns. I believe this trend of violence is only a symptom of a much larger, much deeper problem. Take away the guns and the violence will only show up in other ways, because the problem hasn't been dealt with.
Several years ago, in the wake of theSandy Hook School shootings, my husband and I were having a rather passionate discussion about gun control when our daughter walked in and wanted to know what was going on. We explained it as best we could to our (then) first grader, and her response hit me in the gut: "But didn't the shooter realize that he was hurting actual people?"
In that moment I realized something: We forget, in our tech-saturated culture, that we're dealing with other actual people. Yeah, it sounds weird, until you start poking at it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I do believe that there is a line between righteous indignation and overly-sensitive. But wath a prime-time show from the 80's after watching a prime-time show that's on now. It's a culture shock, but it happened so subtly and so gradually that you probably didn't notice. Even our news has changed. Bad news sells, and it's never sold better than it does now. And... I've digressed into bad-sounding cliches, so I'll move back to my point.
My point is this: We're so saturated with information, so accustomed to instant messaging, email and phone conversations at hyper-speed, that we neglect to stop and remember thta it's a real person with real feelings, hopes, dreams and fears we're dealing with. We're so busy getting to the next whatever that we miss the subtle cues from the other end. Maybe your daughter had a crummy day at school, but you're so occupied with checking your email at dinner you don't notice how beat she looks. Perhaps, in your haste to get through the traffic jam, you didn't hear your husband's despair as he asked you to pick up milk on your way home, and you said some pretty callous things. Instead of apologizing, your guilt gets a free ride and you get cranky with your son, who's getting bullied (but your so busy being mad about feeling guilty and put upon that you haven't noticed how he's been retreating more and more).
The answer isn't fewer guns. And it isn't in becoming a martyr or a doormat. Love yourself enough to own your shit and recognize that we're all on this big flying ball, just trying to survive. Smile at someone. Anyone. Even if you aren't feeling it. You just lit up two lives in that one, simple act: Yours and another actual human being's. It didn't start a riot. No one died. No one even broke a sweat.
But you may have been the only good moment in someone's day. You just sent a little more love and compassion into the world. You did your own health a huge favor. You might even have saved someone's life in that one little act.
I know this sounds very pie-in-the-sky, out-of-touch-with-reality, but what would happen if 7 billion humans resolved to just smile at another human once a day? What would your world look like if you started a chain of smiles?
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