I do. It changes, of course, from year to year, sometimes from day to day. I have playlists in my music program that serve as soundtracks for certain kinds of days. Some days, it's dance music, the stuff that I just can't sit still for... I have to get up and dance for those soundtracks. Other days, it's more aggressive; that's my "Warrior" playlist. Don't mess with me those days, I'm likely swinging a metaphorical sword at the demons in my life and fighting big fights.
This past week, I've been taking big steps, and I had to create a new soundtrack for this phase in my life. I've been facing up to some nasty stuff, and owning my shit; tackling the big financial scary stuff, facing the emotions I try so hard not to deal with, taking responsibility for the energy and projects I take on, and learning to say "No" more often to the things that aren't in line with my values.
So "This is my Fight Song", "Let it Go", "Stronger"... these are the songs that surround the track that is my own reading of the essay I wrote about my perfect life.
Because listening to my own voice...
...defining my dreams inevitably (at this stage, anyway) prompts those old programs in my brain telling me that I don't deserve it, that I'm unworthy, reminding me of all those failures in my life, reminds me of all the debt that remains from earlier times when I was irresponsible with my finances. For that, I have to be in my boldest, most daring person, and for that, I need to be a fighter, have my fight songs and remind myself to let it go. I'm not that woman anymore. I'm bolder, stronger, more responsible, more authentic, I am my own definition of me and you can't have or change that. I won't be less than I am meant to be for anyone or anything, so don't even try to go there! Love me as I am, or find your way out the door.
It's true: What doesn't kill you does make you stronger, if you learn from it.
It makes you faster, bolder, braver, prouder. Your tears don't make you weak, if you choose not to fall into the trap of victim-hood. Your mistakes aren't the end of the world, and you don't have to be perfect! They're just a practice run for the perfect version that you're creating, whether that's a business model, your own body, or your dreams.
So, how do you create your own soundtrack?
For me, it's pretty simple. I'm an amateur musicologist (okay, maybe not the best word for me, but the word I want is escaping me this morning), so I tend to group my music by how it makes me feel. It's a daunting task when I look at the thousands of songs I have in my library, with options ranging from classical to R&B. I literally have a little of something from every genre (I think... though usually when I say that, someone asks me about a new genre that I haven't listened to, and I have to go listen and decide if I want to add that!). So.. Here's my process in a nutshell:
Step 1: Figure out my goal.
Well, duh. I have to know what I'm creating this music list for, yes? Am I creating a short 20 minute meditation playlist? An hour's worth of upbeat tracks to keep my feet moving during an hour long walk? Just creating something that I can type like a maniac to? Am I looking for a day of music that will pull me out of a mid-winter slump and make me feel good again?
Define what your purpose is, and figure out what feeling you want to convey to yourself. I really don't give a rat's backside if no one else thinks that Adelle, Celtic music and the theme to Star Wars don't belong in the same list. If it makes you feel good, and meets your goal, Go for it, dammit!
Step 2: Throw it all at the wall, and see what sticks.
Okay, not really. That might work with pasta, I've never tried it. However, when it comes to music, and trying to define a playlist that evokes a particular mood, I do tend to throw most of my music into a big pile, randomize it, then hit "play." When a song comes up that really doesn't hit the target, I hit "skip". If the song just sounds good, I let it play (which avoids my head getting all jangled from partial songs and ear-bugs). However, when something comes on that hits the mark - BINGO! Add it to the playlist.
Step 3: Organization is everything.
So, you've got this mess of songs in a playlist now. What started as a list of 300 songs is now a mere 10-15 songs (more or less depending on what you're trying to accomplish). So, now you can rearrange that new list into an order that makes you happy. Yes indeed. I have done playlists that had the Dixie Chicks alongside Cher alongside John Williams. Who cares if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. This is your playlist, yeah?
Step 4: Enjoy It!
What kind of instructions don't tell you how to make something meant to enjoy without actually letting you know that it's time to enjoy it?
So go plug in your ear buds, or put it on the surround sound and crank that baby up! You might find that you need to rearrange things once in a while, add, delete, whatever. It's yours, so do what you need to do to preserve your sanity. When the list no longer sets you where you want to be, or it's just sitting there collecting whatever unused data collects (the electronic equivalent of dust collecting on knicknacks), then delete the darn thing! Don't feel guilty. It's just time to make a new list, and that is totally okay! Enjoy!
So, now it's your turn.
What songs are in your life sound track?
Is it John Williams or Elton John? Adelle or J. Lo.?
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