Put down your phone for a few minutes.
(Unless of course you're reading this, then finish and then put down the phone)
Really.
I mean it.
We spend way too much energy and attention on our little hand-held life-lines to the greater world. And it's robbing us of our moment-to-moment richness of the life around you.
We hurry and stress and work ourselves into the ground to afford the "latest and greatest" devices. And for what? At the end of the day, that phone or tablet doesn't keep you company. It can't love you in return.
It can keep you connected to those you love when they're away from you, but there's a time and a place for that, and a time and a place to put the phone down.
Look around you.
It's really kind of sad when you look around the restaurant and see people glued to their phones instead of talking to the people they're sitting with.
It's even more sad when we walk to the beach, and I see kids playing in the sand, their guardians sitting nearby with a phone or tablet in their hands.
Heck, I've even watched people walk down the street, eyeballs glued to the screen of their phone, thumbs bouncing off the surface as they scramble another text, tweet, Instagram, or some other social media post.
I watch this, and I wonder, "Is this what our lives boil down to now? Memes, jokes, selfies? And the world outside of social media is just so miserable that all we do is work and sleep in it?"
Not all that long ago, this was me. On the computer, working on something, with my phone beside me, bouncing back and forth between computer and phone, managing 6 tasks at once, and getting nothing done.
I resolved to set down the phone. (The Universe helped some with this.. not long after I resolved to set it down and leave it alone, the darn thing up and died completely on me. Now it's just a brick, and I'm not in a huge rush to get a new one, as I don't have a dire need for it.)
There's a TON of stuff to see!
When I resolved to put my phone down, I started noticing stuff (and started getting a heck of a lot done around the house and in my business).
I started noticing how my daughter fidgets with her pencil when her school work is starting to stress her out.
I started noticing when my dog gets restless.
I started noticing when my body feels good, and when it doesn't feel so good, especially when I put the wrong foods into it.
I started noticing how I was wasting time, and how much more I got done in short bursts of really focused attention. And I started noticing where I had gaps I could fill with stuff that revolves around my values and what's important to me.
Have you noticed lately...
It's well into April now, and unless you live someplace like Colorado, it definitely looks like spring outside. My dahlias are starting to come up, my primroses are dying back. The Christmas cacti in my window and sacred space are blooming. Again. For the 3rd time in 12 months.
Have you set your phone down long enough to notice what's going on in and around your home?
Have you looked up from that little screen to notice how tall your son or daughter is getting?
Have you slowed down long enough to really enjoy your meals?
Have you taken 5 minutes to really look yourself in the eye and...
Since I set my phone down, I've started taking the time to look myself in the eye there in the bathroom mirror, and telling myself that it's okay not to go with the latest rage in social media, and spend all my time there, as I'm prone to do, because I'm loving myself enough to take care of me.
I'm taking care of myself. And for me, that's huge in ways you can't imagine. Of course, it means I spend less time trolling Facebook and Twitter, but you know.. I have an appointment with myself every day to get there, post something, catch up on what friends and family are doing, and let them know I'm thinking about them.
It's okay to let go some. And it's okay to love yourself enough to leave the phone in your purse and really enjoy the fresh air while you walk around the neighborhood. And it's really okay to make some face-to-face connections while you're doing it!
Is your life really better because of the phone?
There's a time and a place for the phone; I absolutely agree. It's nice to have it with me when I'm out and about. But that's not the same as being a slave to it! For a long, long time, I really stressed about how I'd manage my life if my phone died or broke (it finally did, and I'm still here, hallelujah).
I had my schedule on it, reminders of appointments and to-do lists. My email for 3 different accounts and 2 businesses came to it, all in one handy little spot so I didn't have to log in and out of each several times a day to check it.
It was great for keeping track of my budget, my family, my Facebook, my friends... my... life.
But it was also a huge distraction for me. And I learned that I could life just fine (maybe even more productively and more happily) without it. I have less drama in my life, because I no longer spend hours on social media stressing about what is going on with this friend or upset about what that family member said about my post.
I can breathe again.
Stop and Connect.
It doesn't mean I no longer spend any time on social media. I'm there two or three times a day, for 15-30 minutes at a time. That's still a pretty significant block of time! And it's just long enough to look for the significant news, touch base with friends, get some content out for the businesses and have a great laugh.
What it does mean, is that when I'm spending time with my hubby, I'm not distracted by someone's funny photo. I'm not asking my daughter to wait with her math question because I want to finish writing a snarky reply to someone's meme that offends me (I do ask her to wait a moment sometimes when I'm writing and need to finish a thought before it flies off, but I give her the same courtesy when she's busy with Minecraft or school work, too).
Thanks to my phone dying, I'm learning to really stop and connect with those around me.
My computer is still a distraction, and I'm not perfect, but I'm no longer splitting my attention between phone and computer, either.
Are you spending your time in line with what you value?
So.. what do you value? I sat down one day, and challenged myself to figure out what was really important to me, and what I valued, and discovered that I was spending almost no time on the stuff I value! I was spending--no, wasting-- time on stuff that, in the end, means little to nothing in the grand scheme of things.
What do you value, anyway? When the end comes for you, as it will for us all, will you look back and see all the stuff that you didn't get done, and wish you'd had more time for it? Take 5 minutes (the minimum length of time you'd spend distracted by cute kitten videos) and write down the things that are meaningful to you. Do you value your health, your creativity? How about being available for your kids and teaching them how to live a meaningful and productive life? Or maybe you value community and humor--both are great support systems for healthy living, by the way.
I dare you to...
Now that you know what you value (and you can add to this list, subtract from it, as you go), can you trim some of your phone face-time and set it aside to use those moments to do something that supports the values in your life?
If you can't get away for a media free vacation, take 4 minutes and enjoy this gorgeous video of Yosemite National Park from the folks at Greater Good Science Center. Let yourself fully focus and absorb the incredible beauty of nature.
If you have a few more minutes you can kill... Hop over to Youtube and check out one of my all-time favorite videos. It's a parody of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, and everyone in our house cracks up for hours after we watch it.
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