Blog Challenge - Day 19 - Bad Habits and Collections

Rolling into the home stretch, we're talking about my worst habits and what I collect today (isn't it nice to have a day where I'm not repeating myself?).

My worst habits...

I've got a few bad ones, namely carbohydrates and computer games. I would say reading, but we're talking bad habits, not just habits (and I can justify reading until the cows come home, mamma...), so that's not one.

Carbs... are my frienemy. I love 'em, I hate 'em, they're horrible for me, but I can't live without 'em. Not like my Type I diabetic husband can't live without 'em... You know how some people are super grumps before their coffee in the morning? That's me on a long term low carb diet. I'm Super Grump. Mind you, I used to be hung up on coffee and caffeine in general. My family, and anyone that worked with me knew, you just don't talk to Jenn before 8 a.m., when she's had that first cup of go-juice.

I kicked the caffeine habit.

Truly! I weaned myself off caffeine in steps. I might have soda now and then, but I've discovered that the only soda I really like is diet Dr. Pepper, and even that is just kinda meh... So I go with diet Squirt now if I'm going to have soda. I might do iced tea, but again, meh. Black tea gives me migraines, so I avoid that altogether, and most commercial green and white teas are heavily sugared, which leave a nasty taste in my mouth.

Get this: I am so not saying you shouldn't drink soda!

Really, if it floats your boat, drink it! Not to excess (like anything else, too much is seriously bad for you), of course, but feel free to enjoy it if you do in fact enjoy it. I just feel better without it.

Now, carbs are another monkey entirely, and I have tried... oh lord I have tried!.. to kick the carb habit. I've done Atkins, I've done my doc's low carb plan (no flour, oatmeal, rice, potato or corn anything). And I've lost lots of weight and felt pretty good for a while on those plans. However. Just like some people need coffee to be human, I need carbs. At least of the cookie/pie/cake variety. At least once in a while.

I've come to terms with my need for these carbs, and truly, I don't have them nearly as often as I used to. But I do love my carbs. Period. End of conversation. [much to my doctor's disgust, but my needing carbs hasn't killed either of us just yet.]

Computer games, namely of the social media variety are Worst Habit #2:

I like to veg out between projects, as a kind of way to wipe the slate clean and shift gears from one headspace into another (like between blogging and housework or between housework and building in Second Life). Problem is, vegging out for 5 minutes becomes vegging out for 2 hours. I'm just as bad on Facebook as I am with games. If I start scrolling through my feed, I'm gone for too long, and then look at the clock with an "Oh, crap, is that really the time?"

I can walk away from these games, but I always end up coming back to them. Maybe someday I'll kick it, but not today.

Collections... Do I even collect anything anymore?

About 2 1/2 years ago, we moved from a 3 bedroom house into a 700 sq. foot apartment. Big shift, huh? I used to collect all kinds of things, from Bella Sera trading cards to books, horse figurines, crystals (well, I think I got more into the crystals after the move), board games, stuffed animals, books, movies, pens, bookmarks...Did I mention I collect books?

I know that sounds like a lot of collections. I'm a pack rat in some ways, but nowhere near needing publicly televised intervention.

Moving into a smaller space meant cutting my collections way, way down to the absolute bare minimum. The books, I've taken 2 years to really thin through them, and now we sell used books on Amazon as a way to make my first love and hobby pay for itself (and for our daughter's home school materials). Truly, having three bibliophiles in the house can be a bit of a space problem, but we're working it out slowly.

The other collections have been thinned through, too. I've gotten rid of just about anything that didn't hold serious sentimental value for me (it's okay, Mom, I still have the figurines that you and Grandma gave me. I haven't managed to get clear enough to get rid of those). Some of the collections are boxed and will go to my kids at some point, others are carefully displayed around our little living room, like my figurines, shells and crystals.

But this collecting thing... In a tiny living space, I've had to come to terms with less space, and I spend more carefully than I ever have before. Where I might have, once upon a time, said "Oh, I want. Must have. Because, Cool!" I now sit back and say "Do I really love it? Or is it just totally cool and would better serve someone with the space for it?"

Letting go feels so good sometimes!

How about you? What are your worst habits? What do you collect?

Are you enjoying the series? Want to read it from the beginning? Hop over to the Intro, and go from there. You can also snag my sources from there if you're wanting to do this challenge yourself on your own blog (just be ethical and cite your sources!). Then hop over to my Facebook page, and let me know that you're doing the challenge, too, so I can learn all about you, too!

Until next time, lovelies, Live Large! Muah!

Blog Challenge Day 18 - What's Behind my Blog Name and What am I Afraid to Do.

The problem with working with two lists, is that you start to have overlap. Today, is one of those days. I wrote about "What's Behind my Blog Name" way back on day 3, so I won't repeat myself there; however, I will give you a little teaser that I'll be starting up two new blogs in the coming weeks that flow along the lines of the business concepts that we're pursuing and that I talked about a few days ago here.

So let's talk a little about fear and what I'm afraid to do...

My husband likes to turn the word fear into a lovely little acronym:
F. False
E. Expectations
A. Appear
R. Real

I have what's called Social Anxiety Disorder, along with PTSD. There have been times that going to the grocery store for a loaf of bread has been too much for me. But Anxiety isn't the same as fear.

Anxiety, for me anyway, is more of the heart-pounding, head-swimming, brain-shutting-down, I-think-I'm-going-to-die-for-no-reason kind of experience. Anxiety doesn't have a reason to it. It just is.

Fear, I can rationalize why I feel this emotion. I can explain to you all the reasons that doing this thing is a really bad idea. Fear happens when I'm more focused on all the negative stuff that can go wrong, than I am on the positive outcome of this thing I need to do. Don't get me wrong. Fear has it's place in the world. Without fear, we wouldn't look both ways before crossing the street. We wouldn't think twice about lighting ourselves on fire, or not using a hot pad to pull the pizza out of the oven without fear. Of course.. the world might be a little less populated without fear, but we love our people, right?

So, the question on the table is, what am I afraid to do?

I think, if I come right down to it, I'm afraid of getting truly, completely healthy.

Let that one soak in for just a moment. How healthy are you, really? I am, and have been for a number of years, living with several chronic health issues. Some, I can do something about, like my weight and my cholesterol. and those things, I am attempting to resolve. My mental health issues, are something I can work around. Living in a very small town, with no car, I get lots of exercise, and can manage what little crowds we have here with very few problems. But I'm not at a point where I can do the city yet. And I'm not sure I could hold a J-O-B. Yes, I'm dependent on my disability payments, and I know that they aren't a long-term solution; which is why I'm working towards developing a business where I can flex my hours when I need to.

But to get totally healthy? I haven't been that in so long, I don't even know what it would look like or what it would feel like. Not being able to envision something like that is downright scary. And that makes it hard to see it clearly enough to manifest it, let alone be comfortable with it.

So where does that leave me? 

Do I not even try? 

Or do I take what I can envision as it comes to me, get comfortable with it and make it happen? I'll go with the latter. I can work on small things, little steps toward getting more and more healthy. Will I ever be "truly healthy?" I don't know, and I'm not going to stress over that point. Maybe at some point, I'll sit down, and look back on this post and say to myself, "Hey, I actually did do that thing I was afraid of doing! Look at me!"

What are you afraid of? What scares the bejeezus out of you? Jump in the comments below and share your feelings, or hop over to my Facebook page and share there.

Enjoying this series? Want to check it out from the very beginning? Go to the Intro to read more, and follow from there.

If you're a blogger, or thinking about starting a blog, and would like to use the 31 day challenge for yourself, go for it! I only ask that you blog ethically, and give credit to your sources, and that you hop over to my Facebook page and let me know, so that I and my readers can join you, too!

Until next time, Live Large, Lovelies!

Muah!

Blog Challenge Day 17: My Most Proud Moment and Favorite Childhood Book

Since yesterday's post was so long, today's will be a bit quicker. On the list I posted back in my Intro for this challenge, Day 17 is "My Most Proud Moment" but I've already done that one, so we'll move on to "My Favorite Childhood Book" instead of repeating.

Let's just cut to the chase here:

I've been having a love affair with books since I was really young. Like, 2 and 3  years old young. Like, before I can remember, young.

I remember reading my mom's nursing textbooks at 6.

I remember memorizing This is the House that Jack Built.

Our neighbors gave us copies of old Dick and Jane books to go with the ones my mom let me read from her childhood.

But my all-time, bestest favoritest read-it-to-me-again and again and again and again book?

The Pokey Little Puppy


There was just something about this crazy little dog that couldn't keep his nose out of trouble that fascinated me. And his mommy wouldn't let him have dessert when he wasn't very good, either. Totally empathized with his plight right there!

My copy ended up going to my little brother and sister years and years ago, but I still love his round little face and am so thrilled that this book is still in print. I'll have to add it to my collection for the grandkids we're sure to have someday (did I mention we have 6 kids between my husband and I? Pretty sure our odds of having grandkids aren't too bad).

It's been happily ever after for me and my love affair with books ever since.

Anyway... thank you for joining me on another little peek into my life. If you're enjoying the series, head over to my Facebook page and let me know, or just comment below!

If you'd like to start from the beginning, you can find the Intro here.

Are you a blogger, just starting a blog, or maybe just wanting to do something different for a while, and you'd like to use this challenge as well? Awesome-sauce! Please feel free to use this challenge for your own blog, but do so ethically. Give credit to your sources (whichever list you decide to go with.. I goofed and ended up with two lists by mistake), and then hop over to my Facebook page and let me know that you're doing this challenge, too, so we can all follow along!

Until next time; live large, lovelies!

Blog Challenge Day 16 - My Dream Job and the Top of my Bucket List

Halfway point... Day 16. Let's talk dream jobs and bucket lists...

Dream Job, you say?

In the 40 years I've lived, I've never managed to actually answer the question "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I have been a nursing assistant, a secretary, an accounting tech, a bill collector, a telemarketer, a mom, a Mary Kay and Avon sales rep and a homeschool teacher.

This past year, I've been "recreating" myself. 

The past several years have taken a toll on my body, mind and spirit, and this past year, I finally woke up to the fact that I've been trying to take care of my body and mind, but I've been utterly ignoring my Soul. And I realized, that I've never really asked my Soul what it wants. 2015 ended with a conversation something like this:

Ummm.. hi, Soul. What exactly is it you want me to be doing?

Have you ever talked to your Soul? It's not always the best at telling you what it wants. Oh for a communications class on talking to your soul! [Beware of what you ask for--you might get it!] 

I told my lovely spouse that I needed some significant change in my life. Oh... What kind of change? I dunno. Spiritual change... I've gotta do something about my spiritual life, and figure out what the heck I'm supposed to be doing with my life-life.

We agreed to a couple of things, like more time alone, moving my laptop into the bedroom so I have some quiet space to work on my inner world and meditate, and setting aside a little extra cash so I could buy better walking shoes.

And... I started working on my insides. I started meditation, and I started walking. I paid better attention to my diet and what I ate. But mostly, I asked the Universe to give me a little help down here, and help me learn to how to listen to my Soul. 

If you've never done this, I highly recommend it if you actually want to learn. If you're not totally ready and totally committed to learning, don't. Just. Don't. You will be sorry you did. 

Because when you ask the Universe to teach you something, it will rain down lessons on your head like an Arizona monsoon storm. There will be lightening, thunder, and teachers and information coming your way so thick and fast that you can't catch your breath. 

They might all be so subtle that you'll really have to look for them, but they are all around you, all the time. There's no getting away from the storm that you've unleashed.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear, right?

It did. Within a week, I had a cloudy little picture of what I was supposed to be doing, so I dug at it some more. An email came in that gave me a clear feeling of "This.. do this and do this NOW." Then another, and another. As I felt my way through these emails and offers and information, the picture came in clearer. I got a view of what I was supposed to be doing, and I committed to those parts that were clear.

And then, another email came in. Now I've committed to doing something with my life that my Soul loves, I've got this email in my box that is a schedule of FREE classes that are coming up on a week that my daughter and hubby will be out of town, and these classes are all about having and running soul-based businesses, doing what your soul wants you to do, and how to achieve, define and handle success. 

Well, duh. 

"Here's your sign."

Out of that week of classes back in February, I've made connections I'd never dreamed of. The more I ask for clarity about anything in my life, the more clarity I'm given. 

I wanted to have a business where I could use my creative talents for helping others heal. I make stuff. I read. I write. I wanted to put these skills to use to provide for my family. But I wanted the healing part of my business to be intuitive and energy based. I did research. I wrote out exactly what I wanted my life to look like in 3 years. I was still feeling my way through this. 

I should mention that I'm a Gemini, and we like to day dream... We never plan simple projects. Ever. Our projects tend to run off in a hundred different directions and we end up feeling a bit like the guy getting pulled apart by 4 or 5 horses. This was me at this point. 

I had this idea that I could do life coaching, financial coaching, crystal healing, Reiki, write books, write a blog, design my own websites, and... and... and... 

I didn't even know what the heck Reiki was. I knew that it was a kind of energy medicine used in massage therapy. And that. was. all. I. knew. But I was going to learn it, yes I was! 

Then, reality came crashing down. Reiki courses run thousands of dollars. Crystal healing courses aren't much better. We have maybe $40 a month in disposable income. This wasn't happening on my own here, folks. So, what did I do? Oh, right. I went back and asked the Universe for a little help. This is what my Soul thinks I should be doing, and I have no idea how the heck we're going to swing it, so... a little help here?

"Here's your sign."

24 hours later, another email pops into my in box from a very lovely teacher about a week of free exploration into the intuition. Well, duh. Yes, I'm there.

I struggled through that week. It felt right because I was learning how to listen to my Soul. It felt scary because it challenged a hundred beliefs I'd held all my life. It felt confusing because I wanted so much more than just a week of this.

I went to the final online class for the course. I cried through it because the ritual at the end touched me deeper than I'd ever felt anything before. And the teacher offered something that I never in a million years would have expected. She offered her intuition course at  price I could afford! On top of that, she was throwing the first level Reiki training in free. There were other things she was gifting as part of signing up, but I think at that point, I wasn't hearing anything she was saying. I was in tears, wanting to know from my husband if it was okay to commit part of our income to this. 

And there it was. I was on my way to making things happen.

I've refined a lot of the details since I wrote that first plan back in February, but my dream is becoming reality. We've started our used bookstore (online only for now, more on that later), and I've begun writing for more than just fun. The Reiki training is clicking along nicely, and by the end of next year, I should have completed my master-level training. 

Does all this seem a little too wishy washy to you? 

Would it simplify things if I just said this:

My dream job is to have my own used book shop, with a space for doing Reiki and crystal healing work and to write stories that touch women on a soul-deep level so that they, too, can recognize that little voice in side asking them to do what their Souls want them to do.

The top of my bucket list?

To have a used book shop and Reiki and crystal healing practice and write awesome stories... 

I'd also like to travel around Scotland and Ireland, dive the Great Barrier Reef and celebrate one of the solstices at a stone circle. We make our own dreams come true, right? So why not!

Live large, lovelies.

Want to read all the posts in the series so far? You can hop over to the Intro to start from the beginning. If you're enjoying this series, please feel free to use it on your own blog. I just ask that you blog ethically and cite your sources, and maybe hop over to my Facebook page and let me know, so that we can all follow along! Have a great day, everyone!

Blog Challenge Day 13 and 14 - My Favorite Quote, My First Memory, What's in my handbag and If I won the lottery

So, it seems that my lists cross over here, and I've already done both of these topics.
You can find these:  My Favorite Quote, My First Memory, What's in my Handbag, and If I Won the Lottery

Unfortunately, none of these topics change much over the course of a couple months, so I'll use today as a bit of a catch-up, two-fer-one deal for you, my lovely readers.

Hop on over here to read Day 15 (which gets both lists rolled together) or here to read the intro and catch up on my sources. I'd love to have you join me on this challenge; if you would like to, please make sure credit goes where credit is due, and let me know about it, so that we can all follow your challenge, as well!

Blog Challenge, Day 15 - My Average Day

Phew! We're almost halfway home on this journey, and today, the lists merge into one neat little topic. One list calls for "A Timeline of my Day" while the other calls for "My Average Day". I can roll these into one less confusing headline, so here we go!

.

I'm a writer, student and homeschooling mom with a few chronic health issues that can leave me sidelined for days if I'm not careful; therefore, I try to maintain a bit of a routine to keep me on my feet and not too worn out. Our day around here, looks something like this:

7 a.m. - hit the snooze on the alarm until...
7:15 - crawl out of bed, dress, wash up, put on my make up, stumble my way to the kitchen for a cup of tea
7:45 - read, sip tea, eat breakfast (currently, I'm reading "Women Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.
8:30 - Get daughter up and moving, check email, social media, to do list for the day
9:00 - start school, help with foreign language, grammar, creative writing, science and math while I write and/or do my own homework
12:00 p.m. - grab something for lunch, go for a quick walk to check the mailbox and library, swing by grocery store to pick up dinner if necessary.
2:00 - Hand off daughter's schooling to hubby, do my meditation and spiritual growth time - this is my time for doing my japa mala, work on my intuition course, and any other soul-related courses I'm working on. On a rough day, this becomes my nap time, and everything else gets adjusted accordingly.
4:00 - Writing time - Knock out a few pages of writing, blog post, content creation
5:00 - Make and eat dinner
6:00 - Creative time - This is either time to continue writing, crochet while we watch TV, or go on Second Life and do some building for the store there.
8:30 - Start to wind down. Have a cup of tea, read, play computer games, generally start to shut my brain down, if I can at all help it.
10 p.m. - Bedtime - clean up, crawl into bed, listen to music and maybe read until I fall asleep.

Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Right now, I've got some deviations throughout the week for medical appointments, travel, and generally getting caught up on some projects that I'm working on. Otherwise, this is pretty much how I spend my day. Fun, huh?

Up next, My Dream Job and The Top of my Bucket List. And of course, if you'd like to use this blog challenge, go for it! I just ask that you credit your sources (like any wonderfully ethical blogger would do), and then hop over to my Facebook page to let us know that you're doing this too, so we can follow you! Want to read the whole series from the beginning? Hop on over here to start with the intro and read from there.

Blog Challenge Day 12 - If I Won the Lottery & What's in my Fridge Right Now

Day 12 is upon us, and I'm buzzing still just a bit from a really amazing video call with mentors Elle North and Sora Surya No. I have my Saraswati playlist on Youtube pulsing gently in my earbuds as I loose another day of blog posting for you, my lovely reader.

Question 1: If I won the lottery...

First off, I'd be absolutely dumbfounded. I don't play the lottery at all, so this would be defying the odds in so many ways. But... In the spirit of not excluding manifestation of long-held desires, I'll over-look that nagging voice in the back of my head, and lay this out for you...

• I'd start by paying off all my debts. From years of not working, there's a nice, tidy stack of unpaid bills that I'm working my way through, in small amounts, faithfully paying what I can every month to clear this energy from my life.
• I would set aside a tenth of my winnings in an investment account. Let that portion work passively for me.
• The taxes would be paid off immediately, so that those hang over our heads as little as possible.
• My husband and I would buy our house and store front. We've joked about opening a book store here in our little town, and in the past few months, it's become more than a joke. It's become a serious intention and planning for it has begun. Steps are moving forward to make it happen.
• My hubby would get his Elio car, in a custom color that matches our business logo. He's been following the development of this little car company for months, and it's the first thing I've really seen him get serious about forming an intention around manifesting in his life. It would mean a lot of freedom for him to cut down how long he has to be away from home for his monthly appointments.
• Anything left over would get split up for the kids and put into investment accounts for their futures. 

Question 2: What's in my fridge right now? 

We're nearing the end of the month, so pickin's are a bit slim according to the snacksters in the house. Next week will see us with a full fridge again. (and I'm only including what's in the refridgerator portion of my fridge. The freezer's a mess of corn, chicken and frozen peas)

• half a gallon of milk
• 2 loaves of bread
• sunflower seed butter
• jelly
• barbecue sauce
• lemon juice
• pickles
• some questionable grapes
• margarine
• salad dressing
• bacon
• cranberry juice
• mustard
• ketchup
• mayonnaise
• Miracle Whip

Today was a quickie, wasn't it? Join me for the next installment when we get juicy with my favorite quote and my earliest memory. 

Want to read all the posts from the beginning? Jump over here to read the intro and all the blog challenge posts to date. If you'd like to use the blog challenge for yourself, hop over to my Facebook page and let me know so that we can all follow you! Happy reading. Muah! 

Blog Challenge Day 11 - 15 of my Favorite Things and My Most Proud Moment

I'm humming a piece from The Sound of Music as I write this morning. Here we go...

Let's start with 15 of my favorite things.

1. Pizza - crusty, lots of meat and gooey cheese. Perfecto.

2. My meditation time - Spending that quiet time slowly moving over my mala beads is one of the highlights of my day
3. Walking on the beach - We live a little over a mile from the Pacific Ocean, and we try to walk there at least once a week for a breather. The dog gets to run around, chase seagulls, splash in the water, the kiddo gets to do kind of the same thing (minus splashing in the water - puppy paws dry faster than human shoes and socks). And Hubby and I get to walk quietly along the shoreline and soak up all that fabulous energy from the waves and salt water.
4. Writing - I love writing. I'm a storyteller at heart, and writing is my medicine.
5. Baking - I've got a sweet tooth, and sometimes, the chemical taste of store-bought sweets just annoys me.
6. Daydreaming - Some days just beg to have me sit on the bed, close my eyes and drift off into some other space and time.
7. Being in the woods - We're blessed that we not only have ocean beach, but some gorgeous woods that are available for hiking. There is something blessedly restorative about walking among the trees and all their old, hanging Spanish moss.
8. Creating - I love crocheting, painting, writing, drawing, cooking, baking, dreaming...
9. Music - Almost always on in our house. Classical, jazz, meditation, pop, instrumental, Celtic, rap, bagpipes... Tunes are on. Or they're playing in my head. I love making playlists that I can use to set various moods. I'm working through a 40-day Saraswati course with Elle North, and one of our challenges was to create a playlist that inspired traits of this Hindu goddess of creativity, knowledge and order. I did mine on Youtube so that I could share it with the class. You can go check it out here.
10. Books - Anyone who knows me knows that there is rarely a moment when a book is out of my reach. They are a portal to the thoughts and stories of another person. Captured moments in time for anyone to pick up and savor.
11. Horses - There is something about watching a horse move across the landscape that absolutely takes my breath away. I could sit and watch them all day (oh, yeah.. I have done this! In person, and on Youtube). I used to spend hours grooming the horses in a nearby field (after getting the landowner's permission)... There is a gentle rhythm to brushing, stroking, and loving on a horse and being in their accepting presence that is a balm to the soul.
12. Wolves - Again with the beauty and grace thing. My totem animal. Keeper of my spirit. Something quiet and powerful goes through me when they call to each other.
13. Crystals - I love me 'dem sparklies! I have a box of crystals that I play with from time to time, and my favs are out on my altar space. Amethyst, selenite, quartz...
14. The library - Ours is nothing short of amazing. Free college courses, tons of books, documentaries, magazines, music, movies, tv shows... And an amazing team of librarians that knows us by name, and can make recommendations for our daughter.
15. My bed - There is nothing quite as wonderful as falling into bed and dropping off to sleep. We've got this awesome scroll work iron bed that was given to us from my mom, and the coverlet is hand crocheted by me. Somehow, that blanket can be either cool enough for the summer, or warm enough for our mild winter nights, with a little help from an extra blanket thrown over our feet. Sleep well!

These are a few of my favorite things...

There are moments in life that take your breath away, some that make you hang your head in shame, and others that make you glow with pride.

The moment I felt the most proud was...

My husband and I have been sweethearts off and on since we were in high school. Now, he's three years older than I am, so he graduated the year we met, and headed off to Army boot camp the day before my 15th birthday. I had a few years to go, but we traded letters and saw each other whenever he was home until I graduated. For those not young enough to remember a time when email wasn't everywhere, and not everyone had a computer, we hand wrote letters (my sincere apologies to my English Lit teacher in high school-I was actually practicing my grammar and syntax skills on my boyfriend in your class), pages and pages and pages of letters went back and forth between us for three years.

Things happen, as they do, and we parted ways after I graduated. Went from nearly engaged to zilch in one phone call - all because we didn't simply talk about the assumptions that each of us was holding.

Nine years went by.

Things happened.

And through a series of little synchronicities, we ended up talking, and eventually got back together. In time, we married... and that... THAT moment, when I got to say "I Do" to the love of my life, was a moment that will always hold pride-of-place for the "Most Proud" moment. It was a moment I'd been waiting for most of my life, and one I'll never regret. Very few people get a first shot at real love. We were blessed to get a second chance at it. Needless to say, we didn't screw it up this time. Yes, there have been exceedingly painful moments in the 11 years since we said our vows, but we've stuck it out, worked it out, torn down the old to make room for the new, the more stable, the stronger versions of us, and we're committed to doing so for the remainder of our lives.

Enjoying this series? Do your own blog challenge! You can grab my sources and the list of topics on my intro blog post, then let me know you're doing one, too, so I can read along and share your challenge on my Facebook page. Enjoy!

Blog Challenge Day 10 - My Best Physical Feature & My First Celebrity Crush

Day 10, almost 1/3 of the way through this.

And today, we've got my Best Physical Feature and My First Celebrity Crush.

I hate talking about me, sometimes.

I was so conditioned, growing up, not to be vain, and here I have to pick a part of me that I'm especially proud of. And I've never particularly considered myself all that attractive, so we're going deep here to show myself a little self-love.

I love my eyes.

Truly. They are usually a blue-gray, but sometimes they are darker or lighter, depending on my mood. If you watch closely, my mood is reflected in my eyes, so that I can't really pretend that I'm okay when I'm really not. (But who looks that closely anymore, right?)

As for my first celebrity crush... 

God am I ever glad that my husband is totally secure in his man-hood. I still have massive crushes on a number of celebs, but we're only going with my first here, right?

That would totally be Corey Feldman. Yes. I know that totally dates me as a child of the 80's, but so it is. I would watch anything with Corey Feldman in it (Lost Boys, anyone?). Had the posters on my wall, the whole shebang. Had it bad. And I was so glad when I "grew up" and stopped having crushes (you can stop laughing at any time now.. never mind. I'll just join you. I still have them!).

Yup. today was a quickie. If you'd like to start reading from the beginning of this challenge, check it out here. If you'd like to use this challenge on your own blog, go for it! I just ask that you practice ethically, and give credit where credit is due, and let me know, so I can get to know you, too!

31 Day Blogger Challenge - Day 9 - Worst Habits and Piercings and Tattoos

Day 9 has arrived.

I will get through this challenge if it takes the rest of my life. 

Okay. So maybe I'm being slightly dramatic here. It just feels like it's taking my whole freaking life to get through this challenge. This summer has been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, craziness and utter fatigue, but I'm pushing on. I need to write, need to honor my need to write and create. So here I am, faithfully sitting at my keyboard, tapping out my story, my medicine and dedicating a few minutes of my day to putting my story out there into the Universe.

Today was one of those Holy-Crap-Wow kind of days, as I work my way through Elle North's Wisdom Within School of Intuition, her 40 Day Journey with Saraswati course, and the opening of the Enter the Temple with Sora Surya No. After a morning of meditation, intuition work and visualization.. I desperately needed to get out for a walk and do a little grounding before I came back to work on writing for a bit, lest I end up very woo-woo and not making any sense.

Anyway, that's where I'm at mentally this afternoon, so let's get back to this slow building of a long description of the writer of this blog. Today, we're talking piercings, ink and my worst habits. Here goes some real truth telling:

Piercings and tattoos:

This part will be short. I have no ink (though I have it on my bucket list to eventually get some tattoos, I have them designed in my mind, but haven't had money or guts to sit for the work yet). I used to have my ears pierced; the normal single piercings in my earlobes, and when I was super-brave and 20, I got a cartilage piercing in the top of my left ear. That was a doomed piercing, as it quickly got infected, swollen, and my husband had to use pliers to get hold of the pieces of the piercing stud to pull them apart so we could remove the stud. It eventually healed over, but still bothers me from time to time, 20 years later. the single holes in my ear lobes have long since healed over, as well, as I'm terrible about remembering to wear jewelry. It's not really my thing, though I love my crystal necklaces and bracelets. Earrings? Not for me.

My worst habits:

Ah yes. Let me take a moment to put my inner critic in her corner, so that I can do this without completely destroying myself with judgments.

I'm a horrible grammar nazi. I have literally stopped reading news articles that were badly written. I will put down a book and quit reading it (a chore of epic proportions for me) if the author, editor, line editor and publisher couldn't be bothered to review the work for spelling and grammar. I pick apart my own work mercilessly, and pray that when I do publish something, I've caught all the errors. Sadly, I've taught this habit of carefully constructing sentences and paragraphs to my 11 year old daughter, who will, without hesitation, correct her dad's grammar.

I also have a tendency to feel a person more than listen to them. As an empath, I can feel what others are feeling and thinking, sometimes even pick up on the emotions they themselves aren't entirely aware of (which sucks when you know that someone isn't being honest with you, and they are smiling at you as they stretch the truth further and further, or you know that they really don't want to talk to you). This has left me in a very introverted, very withdrawn place in my life, because frankly, I'm pretty good company for myself, and I'm not left wondering what I did wrong when the other half of the conversation is obviously not interested in talking. I'm working on "bubbling" myself to block some of this information, but it's not always possible, or I simply forget to do so.

And then there's my terrible carb habit. My doctor would love for me to give up all flour, rice, oatmeal, potatoes, and corn. But let's be honest here: I love my bread. Maybe a little less than I used to. And I'm slowly letting it go. I've learned that I truly don't like potatoes, except in the occasional cup of clam chowder or baked potato soup. I can't stand rice. Corn is something else I can pass on, unless it's on the cob. Corn syrup is in practically everything, though.. and it's more exhausting than I have energy for to read every label sometimes. My doctor would love for me to live on salad and veggies with chicken once in a while, but that's not me. Not who I am. And I know. I've tried. Good grief, how I tried to eat that way. I felt really great for a while. But after a couple of months, I couldn't handle the cravings, and had zero energy. That was weird. I was eating about as healthy and ideal as you could ask for, and I felt like crap. So... I've let go. I've put some weight back on, but I love cooking and eating again. I make oatmeal cookies sometimes (I'll be making cookies with my daughter after I make dinner tonight), I have bread less and less often. I love having fruit smoothies in the mornings. And I have small salads. I have to be careful with the salad, as I'm on medicine for blood clots, and that doesn't play well with the leafy greens I love. I take my eating one day at a time, and feed my body what it needs and wants, when it needs and wants.


Bonus:

Because this has turned into a bit of a downer post, let me throw in something less negative for you:

I love to tell stories. I'm a storyteller. Perhaps that is my Swedish, Irish, Scottish heritage breaking through. But story is healing for me. Telling them, weaving them, creating them, hearing them, reading them... They are a link to other realms, other realities, the mind and thoughts of another human being or culture.

I'm working my way into a devotional practice of writing down the stories that live in my head. I love these characters, these stories that exist within me. And I think that they love me back. You might think that's odd, but I believe this: writers birth the stories and characters that come to them. They may be fictional, but they are still living, breathing, sentient beings. Ask any writer. Most will tell you that at some point in their writing career, at least one character has done something that surprised the writer; made a choice, performed some act, said something that the author never saw coming, didn't plan for.

Story is living, breathing, sentient.

It finds the creator that it needs to bring it into the world, like a cosmic mid-wife, and then wends its way through the world to find the listener or reader that it needs to speak to, in order to birth some other idea or creation.

And this is where I am at. Who I am. I am that cosmic midwife for the stories that have found me, and ask me to bring them into the world. What the Universe decides to do with the stories after they leave my hands is beyond my control. My job is simply to bring them into being.

Enjoying this series? Head over here to check out the whole list of posts. Feel free to grab the list and run away with it for your own blog challenge (just please be ethical, and cite where you found it!), then let me know you're doing it, so we can all enjoy learning about you, too.

Blog Challenge - Day 8 - What's in my Handbag & An Old Photo of Me?

I ended up taking an unscheduled break from blogging (yet again) over the summer due to--well, due to craziness that was just unforeseen. Now that we've got the kiddo rolling on her learning schedule (aka: Homeschool), I'm getting some things I've been neglecting back on track, starting with the blog. Today, we're picking back up with day 8 of the challenges that I'm doing in tandem. We're cleaning out my purse, and digging up old photos of me.

So, let's get started!

Guess it's time to clean out the ol' purse today. It's time. I'm a mom, so I have a tendency to hoard napkins and receipts.

So, what's in my purse? Let's start by clarifying that I do not own a "handbag" (I promise mine never looks as neat as the photo you see!). Because we walk everywhere, or take a bus, I have a cross body purse that is nice and compact; the added benefit here is that I have to declutter it frequently 'cause it just ain't got the room for clutter, baby!

What's in the bag then? Let's see:

• Three library cards (yes, three!)
• Debit card
• State ID
• Insurance cards
• a small handful of my business cards
• a few business cards from new contacts
• a short pencil
• two receipts
• my keys
• doggie poop bags
• my physical therapy schedule for this month
• a pair of gloves
• some napkins, just in case (I did warn you... what can I say?)

And you want an old photo of moi? Umm... okay. I've warned you previously that I was Hermoine Granger before the world had met her. These are the only photos I dare share-I'd be the tall one in both photos, including the hideous magenta satin thing in the bottom photo. My mother made the dress in the top photo, and I honestly loved it, minus the insane LA August heat that I had to wear it in. She also made my younger sister's dresses in both photos. Quite the talented seamstress, she is.

If you'd like to read previous posts in this challenge, head on over to the blog's homepage here, and check 'em out! If you're having fun reading these, and you'd like to do this challenge on your own blog, let me know down in the comments. I'd love to check out your own responses to these questions!