Why This Quirky Woman Blogs - Blog Challenge Day 31

It's finally here. The finish. Grand Finale. Le Fin.

Why I blog and a quirk I have.

The author David Eddings once said that if you're a writer, you will write, whether you want to or not.

I spent years fighting it. After all, writers seldom make money, and the image of a starving artist wasn't really in my life plans.

I've done a lot of different jobs in my life. Few of them really sparked my interest, even if they felt good for a little while. What I found, though, was that very often, I would loose myself in a story that I was making up in my head to occupy my short-attention-span creative brain.

This is boring, let's make up a story to make it more interesting...

The less creative my job allowed me to be the more... well... bitchy I got. It's harsh, but it's true. Much like a grumpy old female wolf, I'd snap at anyone and everyone. I chose jobs that had a lot of stress, because then, I could justify how miserable I felt using a mask of "I'm stressed out because I had a crappy day at work, leave me alone."

It doesn't work well.

Okay, so maybe millions of people around the world are making it work for them. It didn't work for me.

I got sick, I was tired. I spent years feeling like I'd been plowed under by a bulldozer.

And finally, I realized that I felt better when I was making up stories in my head. Not necessarily stories about my life, but fictions, with characters that lived in my head.

Why not put them on paper?

I am now, telling those stories, crafting tales that have lived in my head for a long time. I'm stretching my wings and learning to be a novelist.

In the meantime, I blog. It gives me an extra outlet, a chance to practice my craft. I suppose that this is also my quirk: I'm a story teller and a weaver of words. I answer questions in stories and carefully mold characters to reflect aspects of life as I see it.

I started this blog with most of an idea of what I wanted to write and create as a business in my head. That has evolved, and I'm not sure how often I'll come back to this one. I've got ideas in my head, but my focus has changed as I've found my feet in this world.

I am a writer. Writers write. And while, on one hand, it's difficult to let go of what I started, I'm finding that it's okay to let it go.

I have drafted the first of a 3 book series. I am planning another novel entirely for National Novel Writing Month. I am fostering my need to be creative, and planning the launch of my creatives business next month (Sage Wolfsong Creations), for which the blog is already running. Sage Wolfsong is all about being creative, being a writer, and the things that come from my heart and into a physical form.

As a family, we've started a concerted effort toward building our used bookstore, Once Written Thrice Read, and the blog for that business is up and running. There, I blog about the books we post for sale in Amazon, reviews of books, some of our daughter's writing, and a little more about living the life of a writer.

Funny side effect of writing my first book: My confidence has soared as a result of finishing that first draft. Aowynn and Teo (the main characters) have become my friends and a part of our family. My actual family has caught the spark, as hubby and daughter are both lovers of the written word, and they have both begun writing their own books. Apparently, we just needed someone to take one for the team, sweat it out, and get the ball rolling. Never really thought of myself as a trailblazer--I've always preferred someone else lead, to be honest. Yet here I am, setting an example by not worrying about what they're doing, and giving myself the time and space to write, and great things are happening.

Today marks the end of a 31 day voyage that took me 3 months to complete. You know more about me than I probably ever dreamed I'd share with strangers. I've learned more about me than I ever imagined I'd find over the course of a summer. I had a summer romance with myself, I suppose. It's over, and yet, it's only beginning.

I hope you enjoyed this series. If you want to go back and read the posts from the beginning, you can start here, at the Intro. If you're a blogger, or just getting started, and need some material that's a little more personal and offbeat, by all means, feel free to use it. I just ask that you credit your sources, and be kind. Then hop over to my Facebook page and let us know, so that we can all follow you, too!

Makeup Bags and Comfort Food - Blog Challenge Day 30

Ha! We're almost there, and this one's an easy one, if not quick.

The contents of my makeup bag, you say? I keep it simple. Leave in hair conditioner, a wide toothed comb for my curly hair, blush, two palettes of eye shadow (both browns, one sparkly for the rare evening out), lipstick in a nude color and one in a bright red, tweezers, toothbrush, toothpaste, flossers, a hair scrunchy (yes, they went out of style a decade ago; they are still the only hair ties I can use without ripping out my hair), and a bottle of bright blue nail polish. Pretty cool, huh?

So, what is my comfort food?

Cheese.

Anything cheesy does it for me when I'm really down.

Cheesy garlic bread straight out of the oven. Cheesy roasted cauliflower. Cheesy tuna casserole. Cheese biscuits. If it's ooey gooey, hot and melty, it's making me feel better just thinking about it.

And that just sounds.. cheesy. Okay, okay. Yes, bad joke. It's been one of those days, I'm afraid.

Want to read all the posts in the series so far? You can hop over to the Intro to start from the beginning. If you're enjoying this series, please feel free to use it on your own blog. I just ask that you blog ethically and cite your sources, and maybe hop over to my Facebookpage and let me know, so that we can all follow along! Have a great day, everyone!

The Last Time I Cried & What I'm Looking Forward To - Day 28

Whoa... two topics that I either haven't written about, or that I can stand to write about again. How about that? Totally unexpected for this late in the series, but these two are intertwined for me at the moment, so here goes: 

I cried last night. 

Not a little, either. Last night, really hit me hard. I killed someone. Two people, actually, and it broke my heart to do it, even though I knew it was coming. 

Well, now that I have your attention, I suppose I should probably explain myself a little better. These two people? They only exist in my computer. They are, well were, characters in a book I'm writing. One was expected, she was old, and needed to die to make room for the things that push my protagonist to move forward toward her destiny. I expected her to die. I planned for her to die. And yet, it totally caught me off guard how deeply affected I was by her death. The second character that died was nameless, faceless, and she may get revived in the revision of the story. I wasn't happy with how that scene came out in the drafting, so who knows. That's the beauty of being a writer: You can make those changes. Usually. 

I've been trying to honor my commitment to writing for 1 hour a day. Every day.

I'm doing the NaNoWriMo challenge in November, and since I have two solid story ideas, I figured I'd use one to get into the habit of writing, and start finding what does and what does not work for me when it comes to writing. I'm reverse engineering this particular story; rather than developing the characters and setting and all that before drafting, I'm drafting the story, and going back and making notes about my main characters as I go. It's not easy work doing it this way, but I only have about 6 weeks left to get this drafted before my focus fully gets turned to the book I am writing for NaNo. That book is getting done in the "proper" way: I'm developing characters and settings and plots and archetypes before writing. 

Now, there's really no wrong way to write a book, I'm told, other than to not write the book that's in your head. Give yourself permission to write badly, just to get the idea down on paper. You can always go back and edit later. And you won't have anything to edit if you don't write in the first place.

So, this idea of writing badly, led to my tears last night. 

I spent 1 hour writing, probably looking a bit like a mad woman, pounding away at my keys, moving music into playlists as I went (I like to write to music, so I'm building playlists for the writing of both these books), and knocked out about 2,000 words in that 60 minutes. I have my work single spaced, so that comes out roughly to 5 pages of text. I think, just based on how I felt after writing it, that about half of that will get cut in the revision process. But I wrote. I honored my need to write, and did it.

Nothing sucks for a new writer nearly as much as spending an hour writing crap and killing off a loved character all in one night. I had to cry. I needed to purge the crappy feeling. I cried on my writing buddy's shoulder and gave myself permission to let it go. Tonight, I'll write again, and keep my protagonist moving towards her destiny. I'll work on my characters for the NaNo Book, and start shifting my focus just a bit towards their story.

Which brings me to what I'm looking forward to.

I'm looking forward to NaNo. I'm looking forward to write-ins with my buddy at her place in SecondLife. I'm looking forward to holding a finished manuscript in my hands; a story that I pulled out of my head and gave life to on paper.

That said, I'm also a little scared of it. My writing buddy and mentor, Allie McCormack, has encouraged me to submit my NaNo book for a competition that takes place in the months immediately after NaNo, which means getting that book revised, edited and ready for public consumption in just under 5 weeks (throw Christmas holidays in there, too, just for kicks and giggles). 

Her faith in me scares the hell out of me. My husband totally supports this idea. 

But Allie is right: It's motivation. If I commit to it, and pay to enter, then I have a really big reason to see it through. Even if I don't win, my book has been put out there, and that's not something I've ever done.

This whole year has been full of stuff I never thought I could actually do. I never thought I could get my craft business off the ground, and here I am, setting up an online store. 

I never thought I would find a good Reiki teacher that I could afford, and yet, today, I received my Reiki First Degree certification from my Reiki master/teacher, Elle North.

I never, ever thought I would see my dream of owning a bookstore materialize, and yet... Our online shop is open and doing business, with plans coming together for a physical store-front in the next 2 years.

I started this year out with a bunch of dreams that felt like a really far reach. And yet, here I am, standing near the end of the year with so much coming together that it drives me to tears sometimes. 

I don't think we would ever have been given the gift of dreaming, if our dreams were out of reach. So dream big, darling. Dream Big.

Oh, and if you are curious about this NaNoWriMo thing, check it out. If you're brave enough to write 50,000 words in a month, sign up, and grab me as your first writing buddy (JennBradshaw is my user name). If you're curious, but not sure you're ready this year, join me on my Sage Wolfsong Creations Facebook page, and let me know you want to be my cheerleader. I'd love to have you! If you happen to be in SecondLife, look up our NaNoWriMo Obsession group, and join us for write-ins, sharing, feedback and mutual cheering on. 

If you're enjoying this series, please hop over to Facebook and let me know! Or, you know, you could just drop a comment below. If you've missed any posts, you can skip back to the Intro and read from there.

Are you a blogger that's flailing for content and need a little break from your normal topics? Or perhaps you're just getting started, and would like to populate your blog with some great posts that help readers get to know you? Feel free to snag this challenge and run with it. Just... do so ethically, please. Cite your sources, And then, pop over to that Facebook page and let us all know you're doing the challenge so we can follow you, too!

Best Physical Feature and My 5 Favorite Blogs - Day 25

I think I can safely say that I am at that point where I will just be glad to finish this challenge. Understand, I have totally enjoyed writing and exploring these prompts with you, my reader, but the duplication is starting to annoy just a little bit.

So, one list I've been working from says to write about my best physical feature. I hate, hate, writing about this. Yes, I have some body-image issues that I'm working on, and for today, I'm going to slink out of this in favor of getting something actually done today. Ha! But you can fly over here and read my post for Day 10 for yourself.

Let's see. Can I entice you towards some really awesome blogs that I enjoy reading? Here's my Top Five list of favorite blogs that I read pretty regularly (I don't do many things truly regularly, as things are constantly changing in my life, but these have endured those changes for a while now, and they are what I'm currently following as regularly as I get).

1. Daniela Uslan - Lots of good articles on blogging; follow her on Facebook in her blogging group to connect with other bloggers

2. Hibiscus Moon - Crystals, crystal healing, crystal science. She does most of her blogs on Youtube now (subscribe for some really awesome content!) and through her newsletter that arrives, on average, once or twice a week. More often when she's getting ready to kick off another round of her Crystal Healers cource twice a year. I've been following Hibiscus for almost 7 years now. Love her stuff.
3. Elle North -  Tired of me crying the wonders of this amazing intuitive/healer/yogini/sage woman? Check out her deep insights on her blog, and maybe snag a course or two! Absolutely adore this woman's energy.
4. Randy Gage - Okay... so I don't actually read his blog regularly, but I do follow his weekly'ish video posts on Youtube. Great, rich content in short (about 5 minutes). fun videos.
5. NaNo - This is a fairly recent add to my list of regularly followed blogs. Why? Because I took on the crazy notion that I can write 50,000 words in a month. NaNoWriMo is a huge writing challenge in the month of November. I've been getting warmed up and doing some practice writing sessions, which I blog about on my Sage Wolfsong Creations blog. Really fun stuff, but as a first time writer, I have a lot of moments when I question my sanity in adding this project to my already-pretty-crazy schedule.

That's it for today. If you're enjoying this series, please hop over to Facebook and let me know! Or, you know, you could just drop a comment below. If you've missed any posts, you can skip back to the Intro and read from there.

Are you a blogger that's flailing for content and need a little break from your normal topics? Or perhaps you're just getting started, and would like to populate your blog with some great posts that help readers get to know you? Feel free to snag this challenge and run with it. Just... do so ethically, please. Cite your sources, And then, pop over to that Facebook page and let us all know you're doing the challenge so we can follow you, too!

Blog Challenge, Day 15 - My Average Day

Phew! We're almost halfway home on this journey, and today, the lists merge into one neat little topic. One list calls for "A Timeline of my Day" while the other calls for "My Average Day". I can roll these into one less confusing headline, so here we go!

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I'm a writer, student and homeschooling mom with a few chronic health issues that can leave me sidelined for days if I'm not careful; therefore, I try to maintain a bit of a routine to keep me on my feet and not too worn out. Our day around here, looks something like this:

7 a.m. - hit the snooze on the alarm until...
7:15 - crawl out of bed, dress, wash up, put on my make up, stumble my way to the kitchen for a cup of tea
7:45 - read, sip tea, eat breakfast (currently, I'm reading "Women Who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.
8:30 - Get daughter up and moving, check email, social media, to do list for the day
9:00 - start school, help with foreign language, grammar, creative writing, science and math while I write and/or do my own homework
12:00 p.m. - grab something for lunch, go for a quick walk to check the mailbox and library, swing by grocery store to pick up dinner if necessary.
2:00 - Hand off daughter's schooling to hubby, do my meditation and spiritual growth time - this is my time for doing my japa mala, work on my intuition course, and any other soul-related courses I'm working on. On a rough day, this becomes my nap time, and everything else gets adjusted accordingly.
4:00 - Writing time - Knock out a few pages of writing, blog post, content creation
5:00 - Make and eat dinner
6:00 - Creative time - This is either time to continue writing, crochet while we watch TV, or go on Second Life and do some building for the store there.
8:30 - Start to wind down. Have a cup of tea, read, play computer games, generally start to shut my brain down, if I can at all help it.
10 p.m. - Bedtime - clean up, crawl into bed, listen to music and maybe read until I fall asleep.

Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Right now, I've got some deviations throughout the week for medical appointments, travel, and generally getting caught up on some projects that I'm working on. Otherwise, this is pretty much how I spend my day. Fun, huh?

Up next, My Dream Job and The Top of my Bucket List. And of course, if you'd like to use this blog challenge, go for it! I just ask that you credit your sources (like any wonderfully ethical blogger would do), and then hop over to my Facebook page to let us know that you're doing this too, so we can follow you! Want to read the whole series from the beginning? Hop on over here to start with the intro and read from there.

The Music of my Life

Do you have a soundtrack for your life?

I do. It changes, of course, from year to year, sometimes from day to day. I have playlists in my music program that serve as soundtracks for certain kinds of days. Some days, it's dance music, the stuff that I just can't sit still for... I have to get up and dance for those soundtracks. Other days, it's more aggressive; that's my "Warrior" playlist. Don't mess with me those days, I'm likely swinging a metaphorical sword at the demons in my life and fighting big fights.

This past week, I've been taking big steps, and I had to create a new soundtrack for this phase in my life. I've been facing up to some nasty stuff, and owning my shit; tackling the big financial scary stuff, facing the emotions I try so hard not to deal with, taking responsibility for the energy and projects I take on, and learning to say "No" more often to the things that aren't in line with my values.

So "This is my Fight Song", "Let it Go", "Stronger"... these are the songs that surround the track that is my own reading of the essay I wrote about my perfect life.

Because listening to my own voice...

...defining my dreams inevitably (at this stage, anyway) prompts those old programs in my brain telling me that I don't deserve it, that I'm unworthy, reminding me of all those failures in my life, reminds me of all the debt that remains from earlier times when I was irresponsible with my finances. For that, I have to be in my boldest, most daring person, and for that, I need to be a fighter, have my fight songs and remind myself to let it go. I'm not that woman anymore. I'm bolder, stronger, more responsible, more authentic, I am my own definition of me and you can't have or change that. I won't be less than I am meant to be for anyone or anything, so don't even try to go there! Love me as I am, or find your way out the door.

It's true: What doesn't kill you does make you stronger, if you learn from it.

It makes you faster, bolder, braver, prouder. Your tears don't make you weak, if you choose not to fall into the trap of victim-hood. Your mistakes aren't the end of the world, and you don't have to be perfect! They're just a practice run for the perfect version that you're creating, whether that's a business model, your own body, or your dreams.

So, how do you create your own soundtrack?

For me, it's pretty simple. I'm an amateur musicologist (okay, maybe not the best word for me, but the word I want is escaping me this morning), so I tend to group my music by how it makes me feel. It's a daunting task when I look at the thousands of songs I have in my library, with options ranging from classical to R&B. I literally have a little of something from every genre (I think... though usually when I say that, someone asks me about a new genre that I haven't listened to, and I have to go listen and decide if I want to add that!). So.. Here's my process in a nutshell:

Step 1: Figure out my goal.

Well, duh. I have to know what I'm creating this music list for, yes? Am I creating a short 20 minute meditation playlist? An hour's worth of upbeat tracks to keep my feet moving during an hour long walk? Just creating something that I can type like a maniac to? Am I looking for a day of music that will pull me out of a mid-winter slump and make me feel good again?

Define what your purpose is, and figure out what feeling you want to convey to yourself. I really don't give a rat's backside if no one else thinks that Adelle, Celtic music and the theme to Star Wars don't belong in the same list. If it makes you feel good, and meets your goal, Go for it, dammit!

Step 2: Throw it all at the wall, and see what sticks.

Okay, not really. That might work with pasta, I've never tried it. However, when it comes to music, and trying to define a playlist that evokes a particular mood, I do tend to throw most of my music into a big pile, randomize it, then hit "play." When a song comes up that really doesn't hit the target, I hit "skip". If the song just sounds good, I let it play (which avoids my head getting all jangled from partial songs and ear-bugs). However, when something comes on that hits the mark - BINGO! Add it to the playlist.

Step 3: Organization is everything.

So, you've got this mess of songs in a playlist now. What started as a list of 300 songs is now a mere 10-15 songs (more or less depending on what you're trying to accomplish). So, now you can rearrange that new list into an order that makes you happy. Yes indeed. I have done playlists that had the Dixie Chicks alongside Cher alongside John Williams. Who cares if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. This is your playlist, yeah?

Step 4: Enjoy It!

What kind of instructions don't tell you how to make something meant to enjoy without actually letting you know that it's time to enjoy it?

So go plug in your ear buds, or put it on the surround sound and crank that baby up! You might find that you need to rearrange things once in a while, add, delete, whatever. It's yours, so do what you need to do to preserve your sanity. When the list no longer sets you where you want to be, or it's just sitting there collecting whatever unused data collects (the electronic equivalent of dust collecting on knicknacks), then delete the darn thing! Don't feel guilty. It's just time to make a new list, and that is totally okay! Enjoy!

So, now it's your turn.

What songs are in your life sound track?

Is it John Williams or Elton John? Adelle or J. Lo.?